Reflection: Race

Entering this class I was kind of a pacifist when it came to race issues. From my point of view I grew up in two different environments that have influenced the way I think about race issues, racism as a topic and racism as a functioning (or lack there of) within our society. From one place, my school and peers, I was taught that racism and race hate was a thing of the past and that those who cling to racialized issues and "make a big deal out of them" (especially in "self proclaimed forward thinking Seattle") were dramatic or outdated. The other influence was the majority of my family, they explained that race and race hate was a serious topic that needed to be addressed/ recognized and, in some instances or issues that I dealt with throughout my childhood, were in fact deeply settled in institutionalized racism. I usually tended to side with the "racism doesn't exist in my world" Seattle take on racialized issues. In my mind my father and grandparents were making a big deal or trying to associate issues with race that didn't need to be thought of in that way. Some of the issues I faced that did in fact have to do with either me being African-American, a minority, a woman or all three I mostly took for face value and did not recognize some of what I was dealing with as a continuation of a racialized system. The examples I can think of, however mundane they may seem to me now, included self-consciousness with my curly hair in middle school or not having a not of peers that looked like me, or even how dark or light my skin would get in the winter vs. summer.

I don't want to go off on too much of a tangent, but what I'm getting at is that before this class I didn't recognize some of the obstacles or self-consciousness I've faced were connected to race hate or systematic racism. readings from this course, especially those from Octavia Butler, Angela Davis, those involving African-American woman "struggles" opened my thoughts to accepting or coming to the realization that some of the ways I feel about myself or the obstacles I continue to face do in fact have to do with my race and the way this country wants others to understand my race. That isn't to say that this class has shown me that my all issues, everything I do, all the time, everyday have to do with my race, no; it's shown me that contrary to the general theory that racism is a thing of the past and isn't apart of the majority's lives is super false. 

It's been crucial for me to understand this now at least, not only as a young black woman growing to adulthood in America, but also as a youth experiencing events like Ferguson and mass amount of killings to and within my black community.